On the sixth day, he arose and appeared to the faithful…

This is a real CBS13, Sacramento-area local news report. Yes, while the politicians in Sacramento are sinking California like a Titanic, the locals are seeing visions of the King of Pop.

Or maybe John Mellencamp from the “Rain on the Scarecrow” video:

You know, probably nine out of ten waterstains are mis-identified as Jesus. John Mellencamp will just keep appearing until we positively identify him. So remember that next time you anthropomorphically burn your toast. Just say, “Bless you, John Mellencamp. Bless you.”