Once upon the internet, I tried to visit www.google.com. Road Runner, Time Warner Cable’s internet service, helpfully informed me it couldn’t find Google.

I thought this was odd. But odder still was a small link on the Road Runner page that read “Why am I here?” Since an answer to that question had been sought by philosophers and theologians since the beginning of recorded history, I was surprised to find it so nonchalantly linked from an ISP error page. Curious, I clicked.

Needless to say, I was disappointed by the answer. It wasn’t even as good as the number 42.

I still use Road Runner’s service, in hopes that one day I’ll discover pages for ‘What is the origin of the universe?’ or ‘Why can’t I lose weight even after exercising and dieting?’ and the answers will be more satisfying.