Is having a super-hairy chest a super power? Watch this video and decide for yourself…
I can personally imagine a number of uses for this power, as opposed to, say Aquaman’s, who can do sod-all but chat with fishes. With a super-hairy chest you can:
1) Donate to the less hairy-chested (like me!), imbuing them with masculine courage and strength.
2) Donate to the balding. Paging Larry David.
3) Shed mad pube-like hairs into an enemy’s coffee. That’s guaranteed to make a super-villain super-mad.
4) Catch children leaping from tall buildings to escape fires in the soft mattress of fur between the ole nippers.
5) Scare bank robbers by pretending to be a bear or werewolf, so they throw the bags of stolen loot down, the better to hie themselves away.
Thank you, Super Hairy Chest Man, for making our nation safe again!
[Via reader EO]